The Talking Centipede Costs $50
A man walks into a pet shop and says to the owner, “I want to buy a pet, but I don’t want a boring normal pet – no cats or dogs. I want something different.”
The pet shop owner informs him that he has a talking centipede.
“Really?” says the man. “How much?”
The owner informs him that the talking centipede costs $50. Happy with the unusual offering, the man pays the money and takes his new pet home.
Upon getting home, he lays the matchbox containing the centipede on the table, opens it and says, “Hello Mr. Centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?”
The centipede says nothing. Figuring it must be tired from the journey, the man decides to leave it for an hour and try again later.
An hour later, he opens the matchbox and says “Hello Mr. Centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?”
The centipede again says nothing. Starting to get suspicious, the man decides he will give it one more hour, and if the centipede doesn’t talk he will take it back to the shop for a refund.
An hour later the man opens the matchbox and repeats, “Hello Mr. Centipede, fancy going to the pub for a few drinks?”
The centipede then says, “I heard you the first time you moron! I’m putting my shoes on!”