I’II kick You In The Balls
An Englishman and a Scotsman are neighbors.
The Scotsman has a hen which lays a beautiful egg every morning for him to eat on the porch.
Every morning the Englishman watches how the Scotsman eats up his delicious-looking egg and starts getting envious.
One morning, he gets lucky and the hen walks into his yard before laying the egg.
The Scotsman sees him picking up the egg and says:
“What are you doing with my egg?”
The Englishman replies “It’s in my yard, so it’s mine!”
The Scotsman says: “But the hen that laid it belongs to me! Look mate, I can see we’re never going to get to the end of this.
How about we deal this in the traditional Scottish way?”
“How?”, asks the Englishman.
It’s simple, really. First, I’II kick you in the balls as hard as I can, and when you can pick yourself up, you return the favor.
The man who picks himself up in the least amount of time gets the egg.”
The Englishman agrees to the deal.
The Scotsman gets his heaviest steel-capped boots and swings with the power of a young David Beckham and hits between the Englishman’s legs.
The Englishman rolls on the ground in agony for 31 minutes and 20 seconds before he finally manages to get up and says:
“Alright, now it’s my turn.”
He gets his own heavy boots, and as prepares he prepares to swing, the Scotsman stops him at the last moment.
“You know what? I think I’ll just have cereal for breakfast today.”