The Cow Dropped Some Dung On Him
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on to him.
As the frozen bird laid there in the pile of cow dung, he started realizing how warm he was feeling. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing in joy. A cat was passing by and heard the bird singing. It found the bird under the pile of cow dung. The cat promptly dug the bird out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you are in deep shit, just keep your fucking mouth shut!